Sick At Sea

Ok I’ll start calling this my “sometimes” blog or my “surprise” blog seeing as I’m not succeeding at the weekly blog. Hello again, this time from the South Pacific! It’s been a whirlwind and I don’t know where to begin. I’m still sailing on the Ms Zaandam, and the last time I gave an update was from beautiful Alaska. I have the good fortune to be a part of what Holland America Line calls their “Legendary Cruise”. This cruise began at the end of the Alaska season and does a round trip voyage from San Diego for 51 days. You heard me right! The cruise embarked on a journey through the South Pacific, hitting Hawaii and then moving on to more remote locations like Fanning Island, The Samoan Islands, and more. We just left Apia, Upolu and have a day at sea heading over to Fiji!

Approaching this cruise I was so excited to meet all of the guests that would become my friends over the next 51 days, and I was ready to give them some fun shows that I’d worked very hard on preparing.

Fanning Island, Kiribati

THEN, on day one of the Legendary Cruise, I didn’t feel well. Being a singer onboard a cruise ship is a wonderful job, but when you fall ill, it’s kind of a nightmare. When your only job is to use your voice, and you can’t do that, it’s very difficulty to keep spirits up. There’s usually a boss or few, or even a doctor or nurse, that reminds you every day that you’re ruining their life by being ill haha. The pressure to return to work rather than being cared for is very high, and often empathy is nowhere to be seen. I was devastated to see that I was growing more sick by the minute, and didn’t want to let the guests down who had been counting down to this adventure, and I also knew what kind of potential corporate attitudes awaited me.

Feeling sorry for myself sick at sea

I was tested for covid, and it came back negative, but luckily I was so miserable that they took me off duty for the night. The next day I told the doctor I wasn’t well enough to go to work, and I already started to feel pressure from upper management. Unfortunately, with singing, being sick isn’t something you can just push through when it involves your throat and laryngitis. That won’t stop people from treating singers onboard like a baby who’s just too lazy to work. When feverish and achy and dealing with a pounding headache, the small pressures and passive aggressions really feel unbearable for a sensitive soul like me. On the third day I was so unwell that they tested me again for covid, and this time it showed positive. Luckily, unlike the days of the pandemic, most of our guests are immunized. They’re of a very mature age and often have compromised immune systems, so this is what finally made me stop feeling guilty for isolating and insisting that I wasn’t well enough to be around others.

Touching land in Kona, Hawaii

I continued to isolate for a couple days, and eventually was released back to work and told to wear a mask for several days. Singing was still impossible as I was still feeling wildly sick, so I began playing instrumentals. To my surprise, the guests were kind and supportive, and actually appreciated the relaxing guitar instrumentals. In fact, I’m almost 100% now (aside from some residual throat swelling) but the guests still like me to play instrumentals when I’m by the pool and occasionally in quiet lounges. This has been a blessing in disguise because now I can offer the guests a larger variety of musical styles, and it has been much less stressful as I attempt to be patient as I wait for my vocal cords to return to normal.

The ship took 7 days to get across the Pacific Ocean from San Diego to Hawaii, and by the time we reached Hawaii, I’d already been back to work for a few days. This means I was fortunate enough to feel well enough to touch land and explore Hawaii. The first day or so I still felt a bit dizzy so I had to skip the beach and sip on Kona coffee in air conditioned cafes, but sooner than expected, I was feeling like myself again. I have to give it to the people working on this ship who could have made my life miserable by making me feel guilty for being sick. For the most part, everyone was kind and supportive, checking on me, leaving me water, tea, medicine and snacks at my door, and being genuinely concerned for my well being in spite of the inconveniences it may have caused others. It’s really a time when you find out who your true friends are, and I’m happy to report, that I found myself to have more than I’d imagined.

"Oka" and banana, a local favorite in American Samoa

Now, I’m finally able to fully perform for the guests, (who are surprised to see that I sing haha), and have the absolute pleasure of exploring these beautiful islands with even more beautiful people. Thank you for being patient with me while I take my time to navigate my health and my priorities onboard this stunning voyage. I look forward to writing about more exciting ports and experiences. I hope you are all happy and healthy, and will write again soon.